Chapter 2: Leaving You Behind
It’s now or never. I don’t want to stay in this island anymore. I don’t want to hear my parents fighting everyday. I’ve waited this moment so I could leave this place. I am going to the city. I’ll go to college and I’ll fulfill all my dreams.
I had few scholarships from other colleges in the province but I opted to go to Manila. I have so many thoughts in my head. Maybe because I wanted to forget so many unhappy memories in my childhood days. My parents didn’t want me to leave. My mother told me that life in the city is more difficult to cope up. She didn’t want to be away from me and so did I. I love my Mom, she was like my best friend. But I’d made up my mind. I wanted to prove to everybody that I could stand on my own.
I was boarding on the big ship heading to Manila. I stayed at the upper deck of the ship to get some air. I was looking at the dark sky wishing I could sight a star. I always believe that Stars in the skies were every man’s dreams. If I could sight a perfect star for me then my dreams would come true one day. I was sad and alone. I don’t know what is waiting for me in this journey.
Mom, Dad I am going to miss you. I am sorry if I have to leave the town. I will only come back if I am done with my studies in the city. I promise I will never fail you. I was really hurt when Dad didn’t want me to go to college. He didn’t care if I have a great future. He just want me to stay in the island.
“Why are you leaving? Are you gonna leave us just like your other brothers and sisters did? After we sent them to high school they left and never come back.”
My Dad demanded, “I don’t want you to be anything. I don’t care if you are smart enough to go to college, but you are staying in this house. I never asked you to get any award you should have given that to other student. I can’t take that shit to my grave!”
I couldn’t believe my own Father was saying those harsh words – he had no dreams for his life nor for his children. He grew up as an orphan his Dad remarried when my grandma died when she committed suicide after she gave birth to my father. He has no directions in life and he quit dreaming. For him dreaming of a better life is just for rich people.
It was selfish. But I couldn’t change the way he thinks. I only hope that someday when I become successful. I can prove him that dreaming wasn’t wrong after all.
I tried to wipe off my tears I couldn’t really help it.
I heard someone was calling my name.
“Hey May! What are you doing here? It’s nice to see you.”
May Michelle is one of my batch mates we were in the same year- she was from the class of section B. I was just so happy I found someone I knew on the ship.
“What are you doing here? Come on, let’s go back inside for ticket inspection. Then maybe after the inspection we can roam around, there are some cute boys around.”
I suddenly got nervous, I need to hide because I didn’t have a ticket. I tried to get one but tickets were sold out. I didn’t want to miss this trip or else I would be late for school enrollment.
“May, the thing is I don’t have a ticket. My cousin just told the ship crew in the main entrance to let me in.” I explained.
May Michelle was surprised, but later on she just gave me a sweet smile, then she suddenly grabbed my left arm to lead me to a small isle. This was found at the very center of the ship and at the corner you could see a staircase going up.
“What’s going on? Where are you taking me? Are we supposed to go up stairs. It says For Authorize personnel Only.”
“Don’t worry. I’ll keep you company. Let’s stay here. The scenery is a lot better from up here. If somebody finds us, let’s just pretend we lost our way.” She laughed
“That was silly of you. Thank’s anyway.” I reacted.
“Did you see him?” She asked. Trying to break the tension.
“Who?” I wondered, my slit eyes just turned big and round trying to figure out that person she meant.
“You mean…hmmm is he really on this ship?” My voice was shaking while waiting for a confirmation.
“Yes, He is here.” She confirmed and giggled at the same time.
I don’t know what to say. I was so upset. He said he is not going to Manila yet. He said if he does he will get there by an airplane.
“Are you going to talk to him? hey, are you alright? I thought you guys already settle your issues before the graduation day.”
We are not okay. I don’t like to see him. Seeing him make me more upset.
I couldn’t deny the fact that he became part of my teenage life. But he never been good to me. He was not proud of me. He couldn’t even introduce me to his family and friends. Maybe I was not great enough for him. I am just a poor girl living in a small village while he is a son of Chinese Businessman in our island. They have a better life compared to anybody. He’d always made me feel I was nobody.
It was a Town fiesta that night. I was with my friends. I knew he wont come to see me. He might be with his friends drinking and smoking. Most teenage boys in the school did these things. Curiosity I bet.
I was with my best friend Pal Che and my friend Marlo that time. We were sitting at the bleachers of the court.
“Hey, don’t be sad. If he is not coming to see you. It’s okay. You’ll be fine. I’ll be right here I won’t leave you. I’ll take you home. Come on, cheer up pretty girl.”
I was grateful to have a friend who always there to listen and accompany me. He was always good to me and he took care of me.
“Will you stay with me, even if comes? Won’t you let him come near me? Do you promise?” I pleaded.
“Promise! Cross my Heart!”
I was busy chatting with other friends for a little while. I noticed Marlo wasn’t at the bleacher anymore. He was standing talking to him. He handed his phone to Marlo. They were both smiling. Marlo hurriedly approached me.
“Hey, would you come with me just a minute please. It won’t take long. I promise.”
“Where are we going? Why are you talking to him? What did you talk about?” I ranted.
He took me inside a parked tricycle, and I got inside and sat. He left me there. From a far I saw a shadow of a boy coming towards me. I was so nervous. He stood next to me.Grab my hand.
“Hi, how are you? I miss you. I’m sorry if I just came now. I was busy.” He explained in a calm voice.
I looked away. I don’t want to see him. He always say sorry. had so many excuses and alibis. I was tired of it.
“Please let’s talk. Would you scoot over so I can sit beside you?”
“Where is Marlo? Where did he go? Why he left me here alone? He promised not to leave me!” I asked in an irritated voice.
“He had my phone, he said, he would let me talk to you if I lend him my phone.” He explained with a naughty smile.
“He is jerk! You bribed him with your phone!” I screamed.
I tried to be calm down. So I let him stay for a while to talk to me. I must understood that he was just a young boy that time maybe 15 or 16, so immature about love.
After awhile we were started laughing together. However his Mom and sister passed by. he was scared and didn’t know what to do. is he going to stand up this time and introduce me to his family or he is going to run again and pretended he didn’t know me at all.
“Busted! I’m going now.” He ran away without saying good bye.
“Not again jerk!”
I don’t know why, I’m still with this boy. He was really immature at his age. Maybe I’m too afraid to break up with him. Maybe I’m too afraid to be left out in the group. Do I really like him? Or I am just with him to make someone jealous.
Yes, I like someone else. I dreamed of someone else to be my boyfriend. But he never noticed me. He had another girlfriend. He always had my heart. He was my first dance. When his heart was taken by another girl. I decided to be someone’s girl. It was a silly idea. But I was just too young that time to understand.
“Life is about exploring our horizon, and Learning from our experience. Everyone makes mistakes, and Learning our lessons from it makes us a better person for tomorrow”
**end of Chapter Two**