When it Rains

It’s rainy season here Phils. and almost every day it is raining, and so I’m really eager to write a poem about what I am feeling when it rains. 🙂

Prose and Poetry

I’m happy when it rains
it pours happiness inside my veins
every sad memory I could remember
are now swept away into the river
My heart is bouncing as I hop
My freezing hands reach every drop
spinning, twirling, aren’t insane
while smiling and laughing
are always the same
what a wonderful feeling
when it rains
a perfect moment to toss for champagnes

rain.image Photo credit to the owner (dancing in the rain)

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Closer to God

When your belief became an ordinary tradition. Sometimes, certain tradition has molded your own belief over the years. You were obliged to do certain things even if it was out of your own belief because you have to follow what’s the tradition or it became a long practice in the family.

I was raised as a Roman Catholic, my mother was a really religious person. She went to church every Sunday, she prayed a novena and Rosary every single day. She was also active in attending some prayer meetings in every occasion in our town. I witnessed how strong her devotion and when she became dependent on her faith to God. Every difficulties and struggle in life she lifted it up and surrendered it to the lord. I guess that’s where she drew her strength all those years. Raising her eight children by herself, and having an irresponsible husband who was drowned to cigarettes and alcohol and no stable job was her great combat. She remained stronger and tougher for the sake of her children while hoping that someday she would reap the beautiful life that God has to offer her.

I remembered all her melancholy stories about her early life. She was only 10 years old when she lost her parents. She only studied through grade 4 and couldn’t afford to move to intermediate school. She started working as a help in one of the rich families in the town at a very young age. A few years later her eldest brother took her to Manila and promised her to send to school after helping him in his tailoring shop. My mother was so passionate about her job, she became so great at making dresses and she had been working long hours without pay. Her brother changed his mind about pursuing her study but instead, he insisted on keeping her work in their shop.

She met her first love, he lived in the next neighborhood. According to my mother, this young man was tall and good gentleman his name was Angel (Anghel). But their relationship didn’t last for long due to Angel’s parents’ disapproval of my mother along with that they sent Angel to a far away province and told my Mother he got married to another woman. She was heartbroken at that time and afraid if she would be able to move on. But she prayed to God every day to send her the man whom she would love and give her a lifetime happiness. A man who could help her extricate herself from her difficult life.

Finally, my father came. He was from the same island where my mother grew up. He was an orphan and an heir of a vast land including rice fields, fish ponds and a land nearby beach resorts. He had everything; love and abundancy from his Abuelo and Abuela (grandparents). In early 1920’s,  10 years before my father was born their family owned a huge mansion in Poblacion, which was later burned by Japanese soldiers during World War 2 in 1942. They had many horses and carriages. His mother was a great violin player and a teacher of Music at Centro Escolar a College in Manila now is Centro Escolar University.

Everything changed when his mother was forced to marry her own cousin. It was a family arrangement to keep their family inheritance. But at that time my grandmother had her own fiance from Masbate island and they were engaged secretly. She couldn’t defy her father so she agreed for the wedding, and  few years later she gave birth to my father. Unfortunately she died a week after, some relatives said that she committed suicide. Nobody knew what really happened.  My grandfather after being a widower, find a new family and had his own children, he left my father to his in- law’s care.

That explained how my Father became an orphan and how he became stubborn in life. So he started selling his properties, spending every penny he had, going back and forth to Manila and to the island. He wanted to enjoy every bit of his life with no dreams neither goals nor direction. Having a wife and children wasn’t his cup of a tea. He loved to just smoke, drink, and watch movies in Theater. But his other remaining inheritance was under the care of his Auntie Felicidad, he would only get his inheritance in one condition. “You need to settle down, bring me a wife and children.” Trapped in that condition my father had no choice but went along with it. He met my mother, promised her of a better life, helped her out from her difficult condition. As for my Mother she believed this was the answer to her prayers. She believed God will reward her for being kind, faithful and obedient all this time.

She had a first child, and second child and another child. She took care of the kids and worked in the rice fields even after giving birth. Until they have seven children. She thought she would only have seven until I came. I was her menopausal baby she had me when she was 45. Life was too difficult for my Mom, she had to leave her children and worked as a maid in a far away city. My brothers would help my father sell fire woods, or worked in the rice field. My other three elder sisters even at a very young age had to do the laundry and cooking and took care of each other. There were times they didn’t have any rice or bread to eat. For every small amount of money, my mother sent for the family was not enough to feed the whole family and we were longing for her.

As I grew up my Mother decided to just get a job in Poblacion instead in a far away town so she could go home every week end and took care of us. She had time to make me new dresses and get me new stuff for school. I was lucky enough that when I was growing up most of my brothers and sisters were already grown up and got their jobs so they could help my Mother in all finances. I got new shoes, new uniforms, bags, and notebooks every school year. Which my other siblings didn’t have. I have the love and attention from my parents and other seven siblings.

As the time passed by, I became like my other siblings when they reached the right age where they can stand on their own, they were all excited to leave the house away from my father’s authority. They want to pursue their own dreams and have a better life which they never had. I also left the island even if  it was against my father’s will. Even my mother begged me not to go, I loved them but I could not stand living with them arguing every day fighting over money. They have lived for over 40 years without harmony.

After so many years when I finished college and started working and making money, I tried to go back to the island and visited them. Sometimes we took them to the city so they could see their other children and grandchildren. I worked hard just for them, I didn’t like my parents to undergo any hardships. I would love them see happy and enjoy their life as they get older. Especially, my Mother, she deserved every happiness in life after so many years of miserable life with my father. She deserved a reward. If God couldn’t give it, I and my other siblings will provide it.

In 2011 she was diagnosed with breast cancer stage 4. She underwent treatment however the Doctor told us, that our Mother had only few months to live. Her body could not endure the treatment. I decided to resign from my job to look after my mother and took her on the island as her last request.  She wanted to spend her remaining days in her own home to be with my father. I knew it was a difficult decision, but my mother was more important than my career.  I could always find a new job later. I saw her everyday in so much pain and agony. It was tormenting to see her everyday. I was scared too. I couldn’t stand seeing her dying.  One day we had a serious conversation while she was lying on the hammock made of a fishnet hanging inside the rest house. I asked her, Mom, do you still believe in God? Are you still close to Him after all? She replied, ” I never lost my faith and devotion towards Him. I’m grateful He gave my precious life, and gave me a loving and great children. All I prayed all this time is to keep my children away from harm and sickness, and if anyone of you get sick I would rather be sick than any of you, because I’m already old. My life is almost over in this world. But your life is just starting. May the Almighty God keep you strong even when I’m gone.”

I couldn’t understand why my mother was still faithful to her God. She is just human she could get mad sometimes, and question him. That’s a normal thing to do. At first, I was mad at Him for not granting my prayer, for not making my Mom live longer and be happy. I had so many questions to ask such; Why she needs to suffer again after so many sufferings she had. Why she needs to die, why isn’t there a miracle? So many why’s… it was heart-wrenching and so difficult to accept, I had to pretend I was fine just for my mother because that’s what she really wanted. For me to be stronger and keep my faith even deeper in times like this.

I have so many questions at the tip of my tongue, these had been my battle for so many years. But, to question my faith was even more difficult. I have my own faith, it might be different from others or from my mother. I still believe there is one and powerful God in this world. Who is responsible for all of us. We may have different beliefs and religions to follow but accepting in our lives that there is a Divine Power dwell along with us. Give us free will for decision making and allow us to commit sin for us to repent and ask forgiveness, a chance for us to make a better path, better and greater after we have stumbled several times.

I may not be very religious, I don’t go to church as often, neither I pray the rosary every single day. But in my own belief being closer to God is manifested in so many different ways and varied every different perspective. People can perform all of these things mentioned above without having a commitment and strong devotion isn’t consider a covenant to be closer to God.

In observance of this Lenten season, people do fasting and any kind of abstinence. Most Catholic devotees perform religious procession in Holy Friday where there are carriages of Holy images that were paraded on the street and there are devotees also perform Station of the cross. As a family tradition that we inherited from my late mother, we did the religious procession and attending “Siete Palabras” also known as The Last Seven Words. Tomorrow will be Holy or Good Friday and we decided to do the station of the cross at Divine Mercy in Marilao Bulacan. These are the best times I remember my Mother. It reminded me her faith and devotion as Roman Catholic and her love for God. Even her last words before she reunited to our Almighty.

(Written and spoken in my native dialect known as Aklanon)

“Ga pasaeamat ako sa Ginuo sa akong kabuhi sa akong mga unga, kapin pa ro pagbugay na kimo. Ikaw do katuparan it akong mga handum. Ikaw ro gabaton it gracia nga ging promisa kakon it Ginuo. Ikaw ro gaangkon it kabuhing dayun iya sa eogta. Sa eangit do akong kasakit hay di ko eon mabatyagan. Ag sa akon pagpanaw giyahan ka permi it atong Makaako.” – Nanay

Translated to the English language:

“I thanked God for my life and for my children, also for giving you to me. You are the fulfillment of my dreams. You will receive the graces and rewards intended for me by our Lord. You will enjoy a better and peaceful life on Earth. In Heaven, I will never feel any pain and when I’m gone Our God Almighty will always guide you.” – Mom

praying to God

***—-***

Comment:
This article is a tribute to my beloved mother for all her sacrifices. I know you’re in heaven now. No more pains and worries. I really miss you so much. I love you with all my heart. If I will be born again I will still choose you to be my mother. Thank you for everything, for loving me more than you love yourself. You are my beloved Nanay (Mom) my best friend and now my guardian angel. Please watch over me and please remind me how great is your faith and how closer you are to God.

Stand by me

Stand by me

I thought we’ll wait for a little bit longer
Until the time will come
No matter what happens
You’re still there for me
stand by me
Even if the clouds are still gloomy
Even if the stars in the sky cease to shine
and our destiny
seems to go astray
You’re still there for me
will stand by me

Every time I was scared
I would call your name
Your sweet words had comforted me
I’ve been drowned in the abyss for a long while
You were always there to help me up
assure me
“that Everything is just fine
Just hang in there
Our time will come
I’ll take you out there
and free you from the beast”

The time is near
I wanted to get free
I called your name
But you weren’t there
The day we promise will never come
Beauty and Prince have never a second chance
You already left
without a word
You’ve just given up on me
when I thought you’re just there
to stand by me ****—****

Sailor Moon

IMG_20160529_021411

Sailor Moon
By: Melyn Louise (May 29, 2016)

Anime: Sailor Moon

“Fighting evil by moonlight. Winning Love by daylight.”

Comment:

When I was a Freshman  in High School we created  friends’ group called D’Friends Unlimited (DFU) where all our names were based on cartoon and anime characters. Since, Snow White was my favorite Disney Character, so I picked Snow white as my name. One of my other friends picked Sailor moon. Just like Sailor Moon, she has a strong personality with beauty inside and out.

She works as a Nurse in hospital in Middle East right now. I can’t imagine how hard it must be to be away from her family in the Philippines all these years. But she is doing this for the sake of her family and to earn money for her future. I drew this character as a gift for her, hoping someday when she comes back I will be able to give this to her, as a sign of my love and long time friendship.

I admired her dedication and perseverance towards her job. I continue to pray her happiness and safety. I hope to see her soon.

Farm

Farm

There was a place I used to go.
Where all my dreams came to grow.
A happy place I once knew.
Where all the memories I tried to draw.
Someday,this place won’t be the same.
Year after years so many things have gone so lame.

 

Comment:

Creating distance in a landscape. This drawing reminds me of the farm in my hometown. I spent my childhood years in that town. I had so many happy memories with my mother. I helped her plant rice in the rice field. I chased away those birds that tried to eat the crop. When harvest time was over. We used the empty field as a playground. I remember we played Power Ranger, among my playmates I always picked to be Tommy (the white ranger) most of our enemy were the cows and Carabaos (water buffalo in Philippines).

I’m really happy that I’m able to draw now. There are so many memories that I wanted to paint.

Justice

dr-drey-620x620

Justice

You were born to live
to see the sunrise
and dream big behind those gloomy clouds
You were born to laugh
to watch over the rainbow
and put a smile on every sorrow
You were born to heal
Not just an injured wound
but also a broken hope of the unwell
Above all you were born to be happy
and cherish every single thing in the world
You were meant to survive every battle in whatever circumstances
Your life was precious
You were here in this community to make a difference

But, why did they take your life?
Is it out of greed, hatred or vengeance
We tried to ponder, but we can’t see
What the reason might be
But only a monster could only do such a thing
To take a precious life is unforgivable
The people on Earth mourned
Even God in Heaven is pissed
When you’re gone
tears flood the nation
more dreams are shattered and fell down

A Hero
That’s what they call you
A Nobleman
You were admired for your achievements and great service
You were born with a golden heart
People you’ve touched could see it through
Nevertheless, your assailant still left a bullet inside you
that perished your young life
Justice is what we seek
Someone has to pay
For taking the life of a “Health Hero” like Dr. Drey

 

Comment:
It’s all over the news the death of my relative and friend. Everyone who knows him personally are in great sorrow. It is hard to accept that he was killed after serving poor community in (Barrios) rural areas in the Southern part of the country.

I’m sorry if I can’t visit your wake in the province. But you are always in my thoughts and prayers. May your soul rest in peace.

I met you when we were kids, Maybe I was 9 or 10 years old back then. It was summer vacation you often visited Eboy and Guia at their grandparents’ house to play. My mom used to work there, when the three of you played, you always checked on me and asked if I wanted to join. You were so nice and friendly. Every time you visited there you went straight in to the kitchen because you knew I was there sitting. You always handed me some candies every time you went there. I was just shy and I barely speak. You were taller than the average kids of your age that I mistakenly thought you were a lot older than me. After that summer vacation I had never seen you for so long, I heard you went to a different high school, and also went to college  to somewhere farther city from our town. Thanks to FB we became friends again, and I saw how you transformed into a fine young man and you became a Doctor by profession. 

Even if we are not really close friends. I am still really proud of all your achievements and sacrifices. I’m just very sad to lose a very nice person like you. I feel sorry for your family- this tragedy must be really hard for them to cope.

We pray that justice will prevail.

Even if you are not here anymore, you are always remembered by those people who truly love you. “Paalam, Sana maging mapayapa ang iyong kaluluwa saan ka man ngayon.”    Thank you for knowing you…

Dream

Dream

My heart was empty
it never been happy
Then you came
you were just a dream
But now you’re here
magically appear
I couldn’t believe you’re finally mine
my love for you will always shine
I want you, I need you, I love you
it’s all because of you
You’re the song I’d love to sing
you’re the one who mend my broken wing
You light up my life
all the darkest times turn to bright
Hold my hand forever
let’s take this journey together
I’ll be there by your side
until the day I’ll become your bride
You’re an answered prayer
like in fairy-tale our story has a happily ever after

dream-poem

Poet’s Note:
I always write a sad poem, because I have a broken emotions and lonely past. But,this time I’d love to write a happy poem, the one that is full of hope and love. Having a strong faith to make one’s dream come true. Waiting for the right person to come to my life, praying for him to love me back after so many years of waiting.

A Sniper or Suicide?

A man standing in the woods, thinking about his life. Watching people wonder about their lives. He could not think what to do, life to him is not so important as he once thought to be. Hiding from society, hiding from himself a coward with nothing else to live for. With the final bite of his food he decided what he would do. He has thought about it for long enough, he has thought about it through and through.

If he couldn’t be happy no one should. He raised his arms steady and sure closes one eye and squints a bit. He saw a man happier than him. A man who was a totally opposite of him. A man with honor, courage, and full of hopes and dreams.

Then he took a deep breath, then he held it. Sweat was rolling down his head, thoughts race through his mind. He squeezed his finger, jerked back, a loud pop was the only sound. Metal ripped through the air turning about. The metal ripped into the skull and through the brain of the man standing there.

sniper-suicide

 

Author’s Comment:

In this short story, who do you think  a man was? Was he a Sniper shooting a happy and innocent man, or was he a desperate  man committing Suicide?

Rage

stock-photo-59689498-closed-fist-shattering-glass-over-a-black-background

My parents and I get along most all of the time. It’s been that way ever since I can remember.
One day, I was bouncing a ball in the house to make my sister not be able to hear the television. She told my Dad, then my Dad told me to stop.

“STOP IT!”

I heard my Dad, but I kept doing it. Most of the time it would be no big deal, but he had been going through a lot of problems and a lot of stress.

“GIVE ME THAT BALL!”

I started to go out the front door and was going to play basketball. But my Dad, got in front of the door and told me to give him the ball.

I turned around, and was going to go out the back door- at that point he was unusually mad. He raised his voice when I was almost to the backdoor.
“GIVE ME THAT BALL! DO YOU HEAR ME??”
I bounced the ball as hard as I could on the floor and it hit the ceiling. I caught the ball but my Dad grabbed it too and ripped it out of my hands and told me.

“DON’T MESS WITH ME!!!!”

That was strange because my parents have never done that before. They were always calm and I’ve never seen them yelled at me.

There were four rows of new windows all leaned up against each other about to replace my windows in my room. I put my first throw every single one of them in one swing.

I breathed heavily through my noise. I felt my hand was painful. It was bleeding…

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